


A Kind Of Love

by neverending_story



Category: Homeland
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 13:01:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6659068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverending_story/pseuds/neverending_story
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My answer to the prompt 'C/Q and a bed'. In this case, two beds, maybe a bit of jealousy, and maybe it's not what it seems it is ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Kind Of Love

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any mistakes, tenses aren't my biggest friends...

It is a strange thing, love. You can’t get enough of it and then it suddenly suffocates you. Sometimes you can hate a person with the same intensity as you once loved them. She was like that, too. Like all those people who thought that you had to reach the highest peaks, the highest towers, in order to feel completely whole and content. To feel the bliss, to feel the oblivious uncertainty that comes with it. But one can easily fall off those high towers. They often stand on shabby foundations. Sometimes, love is the relief you feel when someone opens their eyes. The relief when that person squeezes your hand, when the fear that you might lose them, goes away one day. You might still lose them, but they will be at least alive when you do. 

Sometimes love is when someone makes you breakfast and drives your kid to kindergarten, just to let you sleep some more. Sometimes, love is when you want to cook someone a dinner, even when you are quite terrible at it. It’s been a long time they had a proper romantic dinner, her and Quinn, they hadn't really been into such things, that was for sure, but she thought she could break that rule and surprise him. She had arranged everything, asked Quinn to bathe Franny and then read to her, while she had some work to do. Boring papers due to morning. So he most certainly wasn’t expecting anything exciting tonight, apart from playing with rubber ducks and reading about princesses. 

She was glad they were upstairs and hoped he wouldn’t hear her, quite fervent, swearing. Why the fuck had she picked the most complicated recipe and why the fuck it looked like Franny had made it. But fortunately, after some more swearing, it was ready. Just the candles and hopefully she won’t poison him. Where _is_ he anyway? Are they reading the whole bookshelf? 

She climbed up the stairs, but heard no sound from the room. She peaked into their bedroom, maybe Quinn went for a quick nap and fell asleep there, but it was empty. When she entered Franny’s room, an audible sigh almost escaped her mouth. There he was, a former black ops guy, lying like a dead weight amid dolls and stuffed animals, a children's book in his right hand, left hand wrapped around the small figure that was snoring sweetly, curled into him like a kitten. It was quite worrisome for a while, Carrie so much hoped that they would become friends, but she had never really anticipated that Franny would grow to love him like that, hard to pin point the exact moment when it happened. It just did. Carrie didn’t dare to move and stood there, as if she was afraid this scene would disappear like some magic trick. Puff. But it _was_ magic. And it was real, too. Happening right in front of her. Seeing them like this, wrapped around each other, the love she felt for both of them somehow merged together and turned into one overwhelming emotion, something she had never felt before. Two people absolutely dearest to her. Her two loves. How strangely that sounds. But it was so completely and shamelessly true. Her loves who obviously loved each other too, with that precious tenderness which, now, in this very moment, almost made her cry. So she slowly closed the door, and went back downstairs. 

_No. No towers. Love, deep like the ocean. Love that spreads like the firmest roots of ancient trees. Love, that is always there no matter what_. 

That kind of love. She felt that there was something very similar in the way she loved them individually, and both of them at the same time. Were those two different kinds of the same love or…two different loves of the same kind? If she ever wondered whether it was possible to literally feel it, somewhere in her chest, somewhere around the spot where her heart was, it would be this exact feeling, at this exact moment, a strange ache that wasn’t painful, not at all, but very warm, it spread slowly, deeply, it was all in her, went through her and right now, it felt like it was all around her too.

She sat at the bar stool and looked over at the table where she planned to have the delicious romantic dinner. The food is pretty crappy, glad Quinn doesn’t have to pretend that he likes it, she thought. At least I tried. As she was musing about her cooking skills and the moments from upstairs, she cast her eyes upon a rather disheveled bunny, sitting at the bar where Franny left him, probably just before she went to sleep. She had spilled a bit of water on him, so the blue, a bit stained fabric made it look like he was crying. That little creature and his forever depressed expression made her chuckle and moved her at the same time. 

So what do you say, Hugo, just the two of us?

She wasn’t really hungry. So she waited some more time, and then when no one came downstairs, she put all the food in the fridge while having a really good cry. She laughed and sobbed at the same time, suddenly overwhelmed with all the emotions that were running high, in all directions, as if she was a storm herself. She was so tired and extremely happy, that it had really worn her out. For the first time in months, she realized that she was living the dream she didn’t even dare to wish to become true, back then in the hospital, when Quinn had looked at her for the first time with complete presence, that way she had longed for. For so long. 

She went to bed and fell asleep immediately, even though Quinn was just next door, the bed felt incredibly big without him, and she felt incredibly lonely in it.

She woke up around midnight, to the tickling sensation of his hair on her cheek, when he bent down to kiss her. 

"Hey, why didn’t you wake me up?"

"Didn’t want to. You looked so…adorable together."

"That tiny bed is a little narrow though. Didn’t know where to put my legs."

"Obviously not suited for giants like you."

"Glad I didn't wake her up…she’s totally knocked out."

"Yeah, long day. Well, still, you missed out our romantic evening."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. You said you were working."

"That’s ok. Hugo was a pleasant company. I’m glad you two had a good time..Seems like you must’ve really enjoyed that book…haha. It knocked you out pretty quickly."

"I did actually…Franny read to me…well rather gave me a detailed lecture at every single page… explained the whole story, the whole back story to that story and the characters…and all the friends and relatives of that characters that aren’t even mentioned in the story…it was all...very relaxing…she says I remind her of that giant."

"Of the _Good Giant_ , yeah. She even named him Quinn. She knows the story by heart. And all the princes look like you too, she says. Even if they’re blond." 

"Even the….sorry not a good joke."

"Yeah, even _those_ …"

It suddenly took an awkward turn; he certainly didn’t want to make her upset…what the fuck was he thinking…it just slipped. Despite everything, it was still a very tricky subject. But at the same time he thought like he _could_ ask. There was this strange intimacy between them. He knew almost everything after all. So he climbed into the bed and stretched beside her. 

"Will you tell her someday…"

"About…"

"Yeah…"

"I don’t know…I don’t want to burden her with that…not yet…obviously she knows you’re not her father, or that Jonas wasn’t. I’m scared…of all the questions…"

"It’ll be ok. Don’t worry…She’s yours, first and foremost. That’s what matters. And she’s such a gift, I’m sure she would…."

He noticed that something had changed in her, it felt like she got suddenly very upset, almost as she was on the verge of tears.

"Hey…have I said something?"

"No, no…just…some memories emerged back to surface…"

"Oh, sorry, didn’t want to bring it back…my bad…I completely get it, I shouldn’t have…"

"No, not _those_ memories. They appear too, from time to time, but not now. I meant, memories of _you_.

"Me?"

"Yeah...remember? The parking lot." 

His expression suddenly changed and she thought it was because he didn't remember as much as she did. Quite the opposite actually. Only if she knew how much.

"You don’t remember that? What you said…Everything seemed so darkened back then…So fucked up. You said, ‘that kid is a gift’ and that you would be sad to see me fuck it up...I’ve never forgotten it, even if there were times I really wanted to…"

"I meant it…I didn’t want you to…have regrets…in the future…and I knew you could do it…and you did it…I guess I was just worried, because I…"

"Cared?"

"Yeah…"

"It meant a lot. I don’t think I've ever told you, but…it did…sometimes I remember such weird details…about _us_ …like what you said or how you looked like when you said it…all what we went through… _together_ …sometimes I still can’t believe it…If someone told me I’d walk into a room and witness you reading to my child, falling asleep beside her, that she would… _love_ you like that…that _I_ would…

She stopped at the last word and couldn’t continue. Tears were forming in her eyes and he felt it. He felt it because this got him too.

"Carrie…."

"Sorry, I…just…" she tried to fight the tears with couple of nervous chuckles…"you know, me and Hugo had a very sentimental evening...we both felt a bit heartbroken and left out…"

" _You_ felt left out…what about poor Paddy."

"Jesus, Quinn, I’m serious…you’re such an ass."

He kept on smiling and pulled her closer. “Carrie…come here…"

For couple of moments, they were silent. Just his arms wrapped around hers, her head on his shoulder…their hands entwined. Being silent together was their favorite thing…just savoring each other’s presence. And then he spoke again.

"You know, there was this brief second…maybe two…at your Dad’s wake…when I held her..Franny…a bit terrifying at first…but…I pictured this exact moment…it just…flew across my mind, it was so quick like the fall of a shooting star…What was I thinking…I was so hopeful..I mean..it was suddenly so easy and freeing to _get_ hopeful…I saw this image of myself reading to Franny and I saw you standing at the door looking at us…and I felt so proud…so happy…then I laughed at that thought and quickly tried to forget it."

"Really?" 

"Yeah…don’t laugh."

"I’m not…I’m…this will sound so…cheesy…but I swear that it’s completely true…I saw the exact same image in front of me…after you know…that evening…and then I thought…no, no way." 

"No way."

"Yeah. 

"So, I guess, we weren’t ready back then…we can’t turn back time..and I’m really sorry for that..but perhaps it wasn’t meant to be…back then…"

"I thought you don’t believe in destiny…or horoscopes…"

"I don’t…no…But I think now I do believe in giants. Franny is very convincing."

"Yeah I do too…certainly there’s the one I fell in love with…"

Carrie turned around and smiled at him, broadly, reaching up to kiss him.

"And the giant loves you too…both of you…at least that’s what he'd told me."

And he looked at her with that good old smugness, still with a hint of tenderness that he was so often trying to masque behind laughter…but she could read him like an open book. He gently kissed the spot below her ear and moved to her neck, it tickled so she started to giggle. He quickly put the blanket over them and continued with his sweet assaults. 

"Oh, you…oh…aw…wait...wait…Just wait a second," she released herself from his arms and rolled off the bed…"I’ll be right back. Don’t fall asleep ok?"

She looked back at him, the surprised expression on his face and his hair standing on all ends almost made her choke with laughter. She felt the ache in her chest again, but it was a good ache, a happy ache that flooded her with all the warm and fuzzy feelings. She smiled at him and before she could change her mind, she was really close to it, seeing him like that, she rushed down the stairs to the kitchen, took the bunny, still with that same sad look in his eyes, went back, entered Franny’s room and put him, very carefully, in her tiny hand. 

She stirred a little, muttered something incoherent and embraced him. “Nobody should sleep alone,” Carrie whispered. “Thanks.” And then she kissed both of them good night.

When she entered the bedroom, darkness awaited her already, as well as Quinn's warm embrace. She snuggled under the bedsheets when he whispered, with an equal measure of worry and amusement in his voice, "Did you just talk to that rabbit?" She giggled again and pulled him close to her, spreading the bedsheets over them, “Shush and come here.”

**Author's Note:**

> In case you noticed Paddy, she/he is not a human, but a teddy bear ;) I borrowed her/him from Frangipaniflower's lovely Weekend Visit.


End file.
